
                
                         How to get through exams alive
                


 Introduction
 
Why should you learn your dick off if you can cheat on your exams ?
Teachers do their best to make their exams as difficult as possible, and
if they can they will produce the most shitty mix of theory and
exercises, so they won't have to correct much. NOT! After you have read
this text through, you'll be able to crack the most difficult synthese,
and with a minimum of risk. This is of course the 'illegal' way =)


 Safety rules
 
If you sit on the first two rows of the class, forget it. You won't get
away with cheating. The teacher looks at the back of the class, but will
notice movement -except writing- in the front. The older teachers will
focus on the ones that he expects that will be cheating, and if you are
not one of them, don't worry, but be careful as well.

* ALWAYS put your penholder in FRONT OF YOUR HANDS. If the teacher looks in
  your direction, he won't see your hands and won't know what you're up to.
  And, if he sees you doing something else than writing on that soggy exam,
  you just say you're taking a ruler or so, and quickly put that little note
  in the secret compartiment of your penholder.

* Try not to go to the hairdresser's in 3 weeks before the exams. If
  your hair is long, you can avert your eyes to somebody near you or on
  your arm or something. 

* For big exams that take more than two hours, like maths, put only ONE filling
  in your pen, and none in your penholder. If it's empty, you can ask
  the teacher if you can take another one out of your briefcase. Of
  course you didn't know that you had taped a whole synthesis of your
  lessons in it.

* If you use notes (you know, those terribly small papers with
  incredibly small letters on them), PRINT THEM. If you write them,
  sure, but you'll get MUCH more on them if you print them (like a HP
  Use a nice DTP proggy, and use font size 3. If your eyes aren't that
  good, use 4 or 5.


 Some things that can help you
 
TippEx isn't forbidden is most of the schools, so take advantage of
that. Buy a nice BIG pot of the liquid, and steam the label of it.
Then, make a note that's of the same dimensions as the removed label.
Tape the little note on the pot, but leave some space. Then tape the
label back on, but use tape on both sides of it, so it can turn around
the label. Make sure it doesn't turn easily.
When a teacher comes to examine the pot, just turn the label to the free
space. My maths teacher from last year came to my desk during Latin, and
took the TippEx pot. He just opened the pot, corrected something and
put it back. If that happens to you, just don't panic. Don't look in
terror at the teacher with eyes like eggs, just continue writing.

Ever seen those ballpoints that contain a page from 10 cm by 7 cm ?
They cost alot (like 300 BF), but now you can make yer own ones.
Just buy a FAT stylo somewhere, with black or blue casing.
Disassemble the thing, and take a cylinder that 2 or 3 mm wider than the
filling. On the cylinder, you tape the note you've made. Take a spring (een
veer), and attach it on the inside of the cylinder.
Make a slide in the casing of the ballpoint, as wide as the width of the
note, plus 5 mm. Then attach something to the spring, and then on the top
of your stylo, so that one end will stay in place, and the other on the
cylinder. Now take something that will prevent the note from rolling in
the pen, and put it on the paper.
If you did everything right, you should have a nice ballpoint, but when
you pull the thing that you've attached the note to, it should come outside.
Let it go, and it should roll *SCHRP* back in.

In the good old days (say 30 years ago) people didn't use calculators,
because the bloody things weren't invented yet. (really)
They just used calculator-RULERS ! YES ! Those rulers full of numbers,
with in the middle a smaller ruler that you could slide and adjust for
the proper calculations. See if you can find some, and paint them BLACK
or blue or green. Something that doesn't atract attention.
Now, take some VERY THIN paper, and print or write everything down.
Then fold the paper nicely, so that it fits under the small slide.
The rest you can figure out yerself. If you can't, you should be eating
bananas with the skin still on.

And of course, this file is for practical reasons only. If you get
busted, it's your own fucking fault.

L8's...

                                                              PRODiGY
